Friday, November 11, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
SISTER to SISTER
An embrace of her with both hands; however, one hand PATS YOUR BACK as the other STABS YOU IN THE BACK! Why?! This ought not be so!
Women, Sisters, Friends....we share the same hurts, anxieties, desires, excitements, and disappointments. Deal with the same man drama, children issues, life concerns....that makes us more alike than different. There are so many elements of womanhood which should bind us closer and foster sisterly support, but we refuse to embrace it. We possess the ability to express compassion and should do so when another woman has experienced or is experiencing challenges that are familiar to women. Like Madear would say, "if you haven't experienced them yet, just keep on living."
God has placed intrinsic value and a special gift in EVERY ONE of us. We were fearfully and WONDERFULLY hand-crafted. What a marvelous creation is WOMAN! Our value does not have to look alike or simulate another woman's value. Regardless of the unique variation, the value DOES NOT change. So why is it that we fail to embrace the internal, external beauty and strength of other women? Why must we degrade another in order to elevate ourselves? Can we not love the skin that we are in and celebrate the skin of another?
It is very disheartening to continuously witness the back-stabbing, back-biting and bitterness among women. This emotional ugliness that is outwardly demonstrated is seemingly manifested through individual insecurities. What is even more heartbreaking, this negative behavior is reflective among those who claim to be the saints, honorable women of God. Is THAT the love God has commanded you to demonstrate one to another? "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another"~John 13:35~.
We fill the churches on every Wednesday night and Sunday morning, shouting, singing and dancing but leave gossiping, cursing and fussing. How quickly do we forget that we were just asking for help with our light bill, groceries or rent when we see another sister who appears to be "struggling" in life's circumstances. Why do we say that we will stand by you, pray with you, pray for you, call me IF ever and WHEN ever you need me, let me know if I can do anything....when in actuality, we do not pray with you, we forgot about your concerns because we were dealing with our own issues, we believe that our own needs required the attention and when the phone rings, we actually screen our calls and NOT ANSWER the phone?
Sister to Sister....Let's just keep it real. STOP LYING to yourself and other people. If you can not commit to it, then do not promise it. If you do not like it, then do not say that you do. If you do not want to, then do not say that you will. If you know that you are NOT being a REAL FRIEND, then do not EXPECT real friendship in return. If you know that you are a gossiper, then do not get upset when people begin to gossip about you. If she revealed to you a sensitive matter, she trusted you....do not violate that trust; she needs your prayers. STOP degrading her....if she makes or made a mistake, help her to do better by gently informing her. If she dresses inappropriately, why not buy her a pair of shoes and donate a new suit....people do better when they know better.
If you are rolling your eyes at every woman that comes in and goes from your presence, talking about their business, finding fault and the negative in all that she does, the truth is.....there isn't anything wrong with her....the real issue is YOU. It's time for self-examination of why you're so insecure and unhappy.
Now, we know that there exists a great multitude of women who are secure and maintain healthy friendships. The previous is not applicable to all of us but for those of us that this message applies....CONVICT & CORRECT or GET MAD & GET OVER IT. Deliverance is available to you.
~Lady Alana~
Women, Sisters, Friends....we share the same hurts, anxieties, desires, excitements, and disappointments. Deal with the same man drama, children issues, life concerns....that makes us more alike than different. There are so many elements of womanhood which should bind us closer and foster sisterly support, but we refuse to embrace it. We possess the ability to express compassion and should do so when another woman has experienced or is experiencing challenges that are familiar to women. Like Madear would say, "if you haven't experienced them yet, just keep on living."
God has placed intrinsic value and a special gift in EVERY ONE of us. We were fearfully and WONDERFULLY hand-crafted. What a marvelous creation is WOMAN! Our value does not have to look alike or simulate another woman's value. Regardless of the unique variation, the value DOES NOT change. So why is it that we fail to embrace the internal, external beauty and strength of other women? Why must we degrade another in order to elevate ourselves? Can we not love the skin that we are in and celebrate the skin of another?
It is very disheartening to continuously witness the back-stabbing, back-biting and bitterness among women. This emotional ugliness that is outwardly demonstrated is seemingly manifested through individual insecurities. What is even more heartbreaking, this negative behavior is reflective among those who claim to be the saints, honorable women of God. Is THAT the love God has commanded you to demonstrate one to another? "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another"~John 13:35~.
We fill the churches on every Wednesday night and Sunday morning, shouting, singing and dancing but leave gossiping, cursing and fussing. How quickly do we forget that we were just asking for help with our light bill, groceries or rent when we see another sister who appears to be "struggling" in life's circumstances. Why do we say that we will stand by you, pray with you, pray for you, call me IF ever and WHEN ever you need me, let me know if I can do anything....when in actuality, we do not pray with you, we forgot about your concerns because we were dealing with our own issues, we believe that our own needs required the attention and when the phone rings, we actually screen our calls and NOT ANSWER the phone?
Sister to Sister....Let's just keep it real. STOP LYING to yourself and other people. If you can not commit to it, then do not promise it. If you do not like it, then do not say that you do. If you do not want to, then do not say that you will. If you know that you are NOT being a REAL FRIEND, then do not EXPECT real friendship in return. If you know that you are a gossiper, then do not get upset when people begin to gossip about you. If she revealed to you a sensitive matter, she trusted you....do not violate that trust; she needs your prayers. STOP degrading her....if she makes or made a mistake, help her to do better by gently informing her. If she dresses inappropriately, why not buy her a pair of shoes and donate a new suit....people do better when they know better.
If you are rolling your eyes at every woman that comes in and goes from your presence, talking about their business, finding fault and the negative in all that she does, the truth is.....there isn't anything wrong with her....the real issue is YOU. It's time for self-examination of why you're so insecure and unhappy.
Now, we know that there exists a great multitude of women who are secure and maintain healthy friendships. The previous is not applicable to all of us but for those of us that this message applies....CONVICT & CORRECT or GET MAD & GET OVER IT. Deliverance is available to you.
~Lady Alana~
Thursday, November 3, 2011
DISCONNECTED FROM SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP?
Bishop-Elect D. Sinegal commented: "If you are truly submitted to a ministry, and a true son or daughter of that ministry, serious life decisions should take your spiritual father and/or mother into consideration. The Ruth/Naomi connection....your people will be my people....your God my God. The true spirit of a son or daughter, is to stay as close to their leader as possible, realizing that leader will be the source or the point of connection for their next dimension!"
Why do you believe that so many of us are disconnected from our spiritual leaders in the ministry?
Why do you believe that so many of us are disconnected from our spiritual leaders in the ministry?
ABUSE: NO ONE DESERVES IT
How do you know when you are in an abusive relationship? LOVE DOES NOT HURT.
Are you being hurt? If you answer “YES” to any of these questions, you are likely to be in an abusive relationship.
Adapted from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Are you being hurt? If you answer “YES” to any of these questions, you are likely to be in an abusive relationship.
- Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells to keep peace?
- Do you feel like a prisoner in your own home?
- Does your partner hurt you with bad names and put downs?
- Does he/she threaten or harass you?
- Give you "the look"?
- Shove, slap or hit you?
- Abuse your children?
- Keep you from seeing friends or family?
- Destroy your property?
- Hurt your pets?
- Does your partner follow you, spy on you, or show up at your job, school, or friends' homes?
- Listen to your phone calls, secretly records your calls or keeps you from using the phone?
- Does he/she force you to have sex when you don't want to?
- Accuse you of having affairs?
- Control all the money and give you little or none?
- Keep you from getting or keeping a job?
Adapted from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Conscious Parenting
Conscious Parenting
by Greeting Dawn
I don’t know what Conscious Parenting is? I’m not a psychologist or a child expert. But I do know that conscious parenting is about being conscious of being a parent.
It’s intentional, and it’s not by default. It’s about stopping on our crackberry’s and I-things(sp) and observing the details that go in our children’s lives. Call it attention to detail, if you must. It’s about not taking events, situations and happenings at face value but looking for a deeper meaning that allows us a peak inside the workings of our children’s minds.
It’s not about control – rather it’s about letting go.
We, parents tend to bring up our children the way we’d been brought up or sometimes its the opposite. “I was brought in a strict disciplinary environment…it stifled my creativity. So, I’ll let my kids enjoy and have fun”. Not that both ideas are wrong, but a fixed set of ideals will lead to extremities which won’t be a healthy thing – either for parents or for children.
So the idea of conscious parenting is to simply be aware of finding the balance. Looking at a one-off event in isolation and making judgements on that will probably pull in the sand. It’s the series of events that lead up that one event is crucial. Most often…rather, each and every time I’ve found from my experience that if me and my wife try to understand what the kid’s thinking about - not what we assume she must be or ought to be thinking – but really thinking, then we can get to the crux and it’s the little things that we just overlook which are the things that may bother them.
So, what I’ve tried to do here is find those pearls of experiences in my family’s daily life and wrap them with words. Real thing is well…real – words can’t express the feelings, the loving touch, the hidden tears, nuances in tone and speech – but whatever I can express – it’s here.
Happy Parenting…a conscious one!
IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING or a SIMPLE DEAD BEAT?
TODAY: Children....our most precious gift. So why is it that they suffer the sins of their parents? When parents (the two people who actively engaged in conceiving the child/children) are presented with an inability to remain a unit, why are the children forced to suffer? Was the care and love of the child/children conditional? When leaving the relationship/marriage, do we also leave the child/children? How is it that you boast of being a responsible adult who is spiritually, morally and financially sound but fail to provide the emotional, mental and financial support of your child/children? Men and women equally have been guilty.
FAST FORWARD: You begin a new relationship/marriage, purchase a new home, new cars, start a new family and begin a beautiful new life. But what about the current LIFE/LIVES of the child/children that still exist? Is it responsible parenting to forget about the child/children to pursue your own happiness? You spend lavishly to ensure that the new family is comfortable while the existing child/children are not afforded the same lifestyle. Is this irresponsible parenting or does it simply categorize you as a dead beat?
QUESTION: As the new man/wife in the relationship; how do you foster a healthy connection to ensure the well-being of the child/children?
FAST FORWARD: You begin a new relationship/marriage, purchase a new home, new cars, start a new family and begin a beautiful new life. But what about the current LIFE/LIVES of the child/children that still exist? Is it responsible parenting to forget about the child/children to pursue your own happiness? You spend lavishly to ensure that the new family is comfortable while the existing child/children are not afforded the same lifestyle. Is this irresponsible parenting or does it simply categorize you as a dead beat?
QUESTION: As the new man/wife in the relationship; how do you foster a healthy connection to ensure the well-being of the child/children?
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